march 24, 2002

I don’t usually have dreams this vivid…….

I just woke up from a sad, intense and incredible dream.

It was this coming summer, in May. Near my birthday (May 24). I was showing my documentary in Washington D.C. I was there with Miles (the editor) and we were meeting to do some tiny addition of editing at a studio in Northern Virginia.

I passed a bar with a TV. Everyone inside was freaked out. I went in. There were reports of another attack on US soil. I remember thinking a very selfish thought: “Damn, I finally make something really cool, and now the premiere gets postponed.”

 Thought about having a drink, but didn’t. I thought, "I want to have a clear head right now".

I kept walking down the road, and small, two-foot-long heat-guided missiles started screaming down the street. I hit the ground and one followed me, missing me by inches.

I stood up and saw a huge fucking thermonuclear device the size of a Saturn moon rocket come streaming over the horizon and land a few miles behind me. I was like, “This is it. It’s over. Fucking humans, they blew it.”

I heard the crash but didn’t turn around.

I closed my eyes, smiled, prayed, thanked God for my life. Meant it. Felt it. Felt complete. Like I’d done well. Lead a good life, had some interesting stories, helped some folks, done more good than harm, and lived long enough.

Then I thought “I GOTTA fucking see what this looks like!” and turned around.

Fucking woke up before I got to see.

-----------------------------------------------==

later: I felt kinda disturbed all day. Took these photos to cheer myself up, and sorta express the softly creepy feeling in me brainpan.

click this animation for a two-meg quicktime experiment I did (music: Atom and his Package doing "waiting room" by fugazi)

Can you say flashback?

-------

later. Fuck. I can't win. I turned on the TV to cheer me up. First news, soldiers, fighting, war, death. Then the movie on tonight is Independence Day.

back